I had put on some pounds, so had gone on a fitness kick. For several days straight I had walked a couple miles every afternoon.
On this particular day it was rather hot. Better judgement told me to skip my afternoon walk. I didn't want to break my routine though, so I decided to take my walk through the neighborhood anyway. I put my phone in my pocket and grabbed my dumb bells so as to work my arms as I walked.
After a mile or so the heat started getting to me. I pushed myself as far as I could until it got to the point I couldn't keep the sweat out of my eyes. I found some reprieve in the shade of an old oak tree in front of an old white house.
My phone dinged with a text, so I dropped my weights on the ground, rested one arm on the tree while facing it and pulled my phone out with the other hand. I was afraid if I sat down by the tree I wouldn't be able to get back up.
I stood leaning against the tree looking down at my phone thumbing through my messages. After I did this for a bit I got the sense I was being watched.
I looked over my shoulder and noticed an elderly man and woman stopped in a truck stopped in the driveway observing me. The gentleman looked very stern while the woman had a look of shock.
The fellow finally said gruffly, "This is my house and my tree. May I help you?" To which I turned around and responded, "No I am just resting here against your tree and texting."
At this the woman let out a loud cackle and slapped the old man on the shoulder. She was trying to say something but was laughing so hard she couldn't get it out.
Well, the old fellow didn't seem to think it was so funny. His wife did though, and laughed all the way to the door of the house. I could hear her laughing even after she shut the door.
Suddenly a light went on and it all made sense to me. I yelled out to the elderly fellow just before he shut the door, "Sir, you didn't think I was peeing on your tree, did you?" He responded a little embarrassed but still grumpily, "Uhh, yes, I did." I then reassured the old man, "Sir, I promise you I would never pee on your tree. I might faint or die on it, but I would never pee on it."
At this the grumpy old gentleman finally saw the humor in the whole ordeal, smiled from ear to ear, and said, "Well then, that's a whole different story. You can die or faint on my tree any time you wish, but, whatever you do, please don't pee on it!"
