SIX CHILDREN BY SIX DIFFERENT WOMEN: Dawn Michelle - "We are going to have to terminate the pregnancy..."

Crisis is the breeding ground for miracles and praise.  We had only been married for less than six months when we encountered the beginning of what would be our first great challenge as a married couple.  

Kim was pregnant.  We were broke and had no insurance.  I was a fulltime student, interim pastor at a small rural church, and worked part time as a delivery driver for Domino's Pizza.  

I believe we grossed less than $9,000 during our first full tax year together.  Logically speaking, we had no business even being married, let alone having babies.

We were foolish and excited though.  We had no fears.  

I cannot say so much about my Mother-in-law.  We called and shared the news with her and she was very concerned and was very outspoken with her concern, as was her norm.  

Who could blame her?  We were not ready.  

I actually had words with her and we did not speak I believe until about time for the baby to be born.  My thoughts were, we could handle it without her anyway.  Little did I know...

Well, things went along fairly well for the first six months, then Kim started having BP issues.  (this was one of her mom's fears by the way)  She ended up having to quit work and take it easy.  

We survived that way for a little bit, then at about 29 weeks Kim developed an excruciating headache and drove herself to the doctor.  At the doctor's office her blood pressure read 220/170.  Of course they hospitalized her immediately.  

Her mom came and stayed with her in the hospital room while I continued to work and go to school.  By this time I was a full time security guard at a plant about fifteen miles out of town.  Her mom and I still weren't talking, but that would soon change.

I was at work when I received the call.  It was Nancy, my mother-in-law.  She was livid.  The doctor had come in and said there was nothing more they could do.  I believe his exact words were, "We are going to have to terminate the pregnancy."  

I'm not sure what Nancy's words were, but I probably wouldn't repeat them anyway. The same meddling mother-in-law who had ticked me off with her bold words earlier very possibly saved my baby's life with that same boldness. 

She requested an immediate transfer to Baptist Hospital in Little Rock, about 65 miles away, where there was an NICU.  When they called me, Med Flight was already on the way.

I don't remember much about the trip from work to the hospital.  I know it went fast.  The helicopter arrived about the same time I did.  

I kissed Kim good bye and then rode with Nancy the long 65 mile stretch between the hospitals.  She insisted on driving due to my state of mind.  She drove pretty fast herself.  We beat the helicopter.  

We had time to talk though.  There were no apologies, just an unsaid understanding that there were more important matters at stake than our petty differences.

Well, we got to the hospital and I was immediately met by hospital personell and began signing my life away.  I was worried about my wife and baby and they were just making sure they got paid.  

I remember looking up at my father-in-law and asking should I be reading what I was signing.  He responded, "Why?  What are you going to do if you don't like what they say?"  Good point.

Well, while I was signing, Kim was rushed into surgery and Dawn was born at a whopping 3.5 lbs.  I really didn't know if either would survive.  

Immediately after the surgery I was escorted back by nursess to see my newborn baby.  I remember thinking, "She is beautiful, but is my wife alive?"  The nurses around me had no clue.  All they knew about was the baby.  I kept asking and they kept saying they didn't know.  I sincerely feared my wife had not survived.

I finally met up with somebody who took me back to see Kim.  She was still struggling with her BP but was alive.  It was a long road for both.  

Kim's BP continued to skyrocket for days until once again Nancy spoke up.  Kim had not seen the baby.  She was not sure we weren't lying to her about The baby even surviving.  When Nancy finally got her way and Kim was able to see her baby, her BP finally leveled out.

It was a long recovery for both, but both eventually got better.  Kim was released after about five days. Dawn dropped down to as little as two pounds thirteen ounces within the first couple days, but improved from there on out.  She was expected to be in the hospital for eight weeks but went home after five.  

When Kim was released she moved in with her parents close by the hospital, while I continued to work and go to school.  It was exhausting but we survived.  

Our bills ended up totaling over $100,000 yet we were only held responsible for a few hundred.  There was no "ObamaCare" then but we were taken care of somehow anyway.  God is good.

That little baby the doctor wished to "terminate" is now happily married, serving God in the ministry, and teaching public school....oh, and planning to have a child of her own some day in the not so far future.  

Nancy ended up struggling for several years with colon cancer until she finally did succumb to it several years ago.  We would have many more spats over the years, but we always managed to get past it.  Her brassness did rub me wrong, but I learned to live with it.  In retrospect, I'm glad she was who she was.

I guess I could look back and note the pain we went through those many difficult days and wish we would have done things differently.  If we had though, things would likely be different now.  We maybe wouldn't have had that precious little girl that has grown to be such a blessing to so many.  What about the next five God brought into our lives.  Where would they be?  Where would we be?  

Yes, at the time the pain seemed unbearable to us I'm sure.  Out of that pain sprang not just one but many miracles.  In at.least a small way, our temporary trial changed the world and ultimately made it a better place.  Thank God for the miracle of life!

Top Ten Stupid Things Parents Say

10. "This is going to hurt me more than you!"

9.  "I'm not going to stop til you quit crying!"

8.  "Do you think I'm stupid or something?"

7.  "How many times am I going to have to tell you this is your last warning?"

6. " My child would never do that!"  Don't fool yourself...

5.  "I'm not going to say it again!" Haha, do you promise?

4.  "Go ahead, try me! "

For an ADHD child that is just too hard to resist.

3.  After screaming at the tip of your lungs, "Did you hear what I said?"

2.  "Why can't you be more like your brother?"

1.  "You are just like your good for nothing father"

*5 Honorable Mention Top Ten Stupid Things Parents Say...

1)  "Yep, drinking beer and smoking weed.  Those were the good old days."

2) "You will never amount to anything."

3) "Don't grow up to be like me."

4)  "Ok, just this once though..."  

5) "Only babies cry."

**Understand, I have heard parents say these things...

The Stolen Christmas

As festive as this season is, it is also very stressful for many.  Actually, this is probably the most anxiety ridden time of the year.  Much of that stress has to do with the purchasing, giving, and getting of gifts, and the lack thereof.  One might say that the root of all (or much) Christmas anxiety is the want of gifts.  We all want to get and give gifts that will be remembered forever.  The fact is though, we seem to remember Christmases more by the activities surrounding them than we do the gifts received.  To be honest with you, I can hardly remember any particular gifts I received, but I can remember a lot of Christmases.  I remember the festivities and family time. I remember shopping trips even....but I don't remember the gifts.

My family seemed to fluctuate from one year to the next between "Big Haul" Christmases and "Slim Pickins" Christmases.  I mean, every Christmas was good, but some Christmases were just more lucrative than others.  This year was one of the biggest Christmases ever though, probably the biggest.  If I remember correctly, my parents spent upward of $400 on the four of us that year.  That was a lot of money in those days!  We had gifts stacked up under the tree and all over the room....and that was before Santa visited.  We were excited!  I could hardly wait for Christmas morning when I would get to open up my share of the Christmas haul.

I'm not sure where we had gone, but we had all loaded up in the car and gone somewhere.  When we returned home we were devastated at what we found.  The front door was wide open.  We walled into the living room and saw nothing but the bare furniture and a lonely tree.  We were shocked.  My baby sister was especially upset, sobbing uncontrollably.  I don't recall, but figure I was pretty upset myself.  Dad was beyond upset.  He was livid.  The first thing he did was call the police, then went to our neighbors to see if they had seen anything suspicious.  They remembered seeing a strange truck leave  our driveway.  We got the description and shared it with the police.

Well, if I remember correctly, the police came and left and I believe my dad went looking for that truck.  I'm sure Mom could only hope he didn't find it!  He was back, and my sister was probably emotionally exhausted.  Anyway, she went to her room....maybe to mourn a Christmas with no gifts.  I don't totally recall how the next few moments transpired.  I figure my sister let out a scream and my parents went running into her room.  When I finally made it to the room everybody was standing around her closet staring with looks of shock on their face.  The closet was packed full of Christmas gifts.  With them was a note from my Uncle Buddy with writing on it to this effect, "I have told you guys to lock your doors!"

Well, we were excited to have our gifts back, but we were also pretty irritated with Uncle Buddy.  Actually, for a short time I believe Dad was more angry with his Uncle than he had been with the alleged Christmas thieves.  He called him and they had a few choice words.  Honestly, Uncle Buddy had no idea how far his little prank would go.  He simply thought he would teach Dad a lesson for leaving the front door unlocked.  

Well, Dad and Uncle Buddy patched things up eventually as they always did.   I figure by the end of the day we were all laughing about the whole ordeal.   Of course, this was after we had called the police off and gotten a pretty good lecture from them on the error of filing false police reports.

Believe it or not, I do not recall any of the gifts received that Christmas, but I do recall that Christmas very wall. Dad and Buddy would chuckle about that day on occasion for many years to come.  I am not saying go break into a family members house and hide all their gifts.  That could cause some serious family conflict.  I am saying though, don't sweat the gifts too much.  More importantly, make memories.  The gifts will be outlived, but the memories will last a lifetime.

Oh, Dad did get even, but that is a whole different story...