The rest of the story about the Prejudice Church from my daughter

My dad wrote about one of the most difficult times in my family's life. He left out a lot of details for the sake of being concise, like how the church insisted we be homeschooled because we lived in the black school district, "you don't see white birds and black birds flying together," the community split into two townships so that the black side of town and white side of town could have legally segregated schools, my church friend had never heard the song "Jesus Loves the Little Children," walking into the sanctuary to see whispering women stop talking and stare me down like I was the most disgusting thing to walk the Earth after word got out I played with a black boy in the backyard of the church (I bet they would have skinned me alive if they knew Michael and I brought our friends inside the church to get a drink from the water fountain!), the feeling of guilt that I was the reason my dad was in so much trouble... And my family's experience doesn't come close to what blacks in that area and others have to experience throughout their lifetimes! If you're wondering why I have such strong feelings about some current issues, this is a huge reason. There are plenty of things that any grown child thinks their parents could have done differently, but this isn't one of those things. I could not be more proud of my parents for how they handled the issues that confronted us in Southeast Arkansas. I'm so thankful that God allows us to go through difficult trials and redeems those trials for His glory.

God Loves the Homosexual

I hope you will bear with me as I weigh in on the recent court decision concerning gay marriage.  Believers, understand this, God loves the homosexual. He loves everyone (John 3:16) and He is no respecter of persons.  Yes, He hates sin, but He loves the sinner, regardless of their choices, mistakes, or even outright depravity.  He expects the believer to love unconditionally just the same.  As a matter of fact He says if we do not love, we do not belong to Him, because He is Love.  Folks, there is no room for spite in the Kingdom of Heaven.  

Though it does say in the bible to love everyone regardless of their race, skin color, gender, and yes, even sin, nowhere in the bible does it say that we are to accept them for who they choose to be or what they choose to do.  Jesus met the woman at the well and loved her when no one else would, but He did not accept who she chose to be.  He told her to go and sin no more.  Peter preached, "repent" as did Paul and the rest.  Sin separates man from God.  It is not necessarily hate or prejudice that causes one to oppose sin.  God hates sin for what it does to the sinner.  If one truly loves another, he will despise the sin that      

weighs that person down and leads to destruction.  Pointing out ones sin in that perspective is therefore an act of love not hate.

Yes all sin is equal in that it all separates man from God.  As far as societal sins though Paul says when men lie with men and women with women, that society has reached the epitome of total depravity (Romans 1). It is not to say that the homosexual is any more a sinner than the adulterer or liar.  It is simply an indicator of the depravity of the society that approves it.  

The Supreme Court has not said its ok to lie, cheat, commit adultery, or murder (well, except for in Roe v Wade).  The church is not campaigning against those other sins because society has not put their stamp of approval on them.  The Supreme Court has for whatever reason though redefined sin in this instance and has taken  upon themselves to proclaim homosexuality is not sin.  They have usurped Gods decree with their own assumption.  It is not necessarily that the Christian is saying the sin of homosexuality is worse than other sins.  They are simply saying it is sin and no amount of legislation or judicial rulings can change that.  The church has not singled out the sin of homosexuality.  The judiciary has.  

As far as a persons right to choose their own lifestyle whether it be right or wrong, the church is not necessarily arguing against that either.  The argument is against the government sanctioning it. The government doesn't sanction adultery or child abuse, but it does now sanction homosexual marriage.  

Marriage was not created by man.  It was created by God.  Man therefore has no authority to define it let alone redefine it. The church had been sanctioned by God and the government for that matter to oversee and officiate marriages, therefore the church has a vested interest in this ruling.  They are not overstepping their bounds by opposing the Supreme Court ruling.  Marriage is very much the business of the church. 

Now all that said, I'm not as shocked nor bothered by this ruling near as much as many others.  This world is ruled by Satan, therefore this is to be expected.  The world is not bound by Gods law.  It is bound by the devil's.  

Though I understand and even defend the church's rational for its opposition to homosexual marriage, I do not personally support the strategy of many.  I believe the battle we fight is a spiritual battle, rather than a fleshly one.  Politics does not influence society as much as society influences politics.  Politics does not influence society's spiritual state as much as reflects it.   This battle is not going to be won at the voting booth or on the picketing line.  It will be won in the prayer closet and at the altar of repentance.  Yes, I will vote my conscience and even campaign it, but that is not the answer.  This country needs a spiritual awakening much more then a political revolution.

That was for what it's worth....

CONFRONTED WITH PREJUDICE

My eldest child reminded me of a part in my past earlier, a part of my life I have mostly tried to forget.  Current events though are resurrecting those memories....evidently for my children as well as for me.  I hope you will bear with me as I relive a difficult time from days gone by.  I think maybe my story will not only help you understand my family a bit better, but maybe even give you a newfound perspective on current events.

I was I guess about thirty, Dawn and Michael probably eight and six respectively.  That would make Kim about 20.  She was a very young mother (jk).  I had been actively involved in the ministry for about eight years.  I had pastored one church and most recently served as youth pastor at another. I was at a crossroad in life, searching for my next step in ministry.

I did some deep soul searching during that time as I had before and would many more times in the future.  I told God when I answered the call to ministry I would go anywhere he led as long as He led the way and provided for me and my family while we were there.  I received an invitation to try out for a pastorate one evening from a church in the south.  This wasn't really Deep South but further south than I was accustomed.

I visited the church a couple weeks later and it was love at first sight.  I felt the love of the people when I preached and they felt the spirit of the Lord as they listened.  We moved into the parsonage about a month later.

It was literally a dream for the first six months.  The church was out in the country with the parsonage right next door to it.  Our yard was about five acres with trees everywhere.  The parsonage was nice enough and roomy, and the people were just wonderful.  They showered us with gifts and acts of kindness daily.  Our kids hit it off with the neighborhood kids too.  We thought we had found our permanent home.

Well, the saying goes, all good things must come to an end.  As pessimistic as that sounds, there is much truth to it....especially in the ministry.  If you don't believe me, ask Peter and Paul.

We were there about nine months when we decided to check into doing foster care.  We had talked of this for years.  Now seemed like a good time to start.  Before DHS would do the home study they suggested we get approval of the church.  We thought this to be simply a technicality, but we were in for a rude awakening.

We excitedly announced our intentions one Sunday morning before church.  We fully expected the church to be happy for us and totally supportive. The church did not share our excitement though.  The response was instead unsupportive and bordering on indignant.  After a few moments of discomfort following my announcement a deacon stood and said we probably needed to have a board meeting to discuss it that night after church.  

We had no idea what the problem was.  These people had been our friends.  I had hunted with them, eaten with them, and visited them in the hospital.  They had been nothing but good to us.  Something was wrong though and I figured we were going to find out soon enough.

That was one long afternoon.  My ministry and family's future were both apparently at stake.  That afternoon Kim and I did a lot of praying.  Before church that night we called the kids into the living room and prayed a hedge around our family and ministry.  We would do this several more times over the next couple years.  If I learned only one thing at that church it was that there is power in prayer.

I met with the board that night.  I still had no idea what was going on.  The meeting lasted several hours.  Most of that time was spent with me fielding potshots and questions that appeared to have nothing to do with why we were meeting.  They complained about my preaching, how I mowed the lawn, and how we kept the house.  On numerous occasions I had the urge to walk out of the meeting, grab the kids and my wife and be done with it.  Something kept me there though.  It was as if God had His hand on my shoulder holding me in my chair.   He was very clear in His intentions.  He wasn't done with me there yet.

Remember, I still had no idea what this really was all about.  I finally got my fill of the whole inquisition. I informed them it was time to cut to the chase and address the issue at hand.  Were they going to allow us to do foster care or not?

They stuttered around for a little while after I asked that, then the chairman finally let the cat out of the bag.  He said, "Brother, we all admire what you are trying to do here.  We have nothing against you helping some of these kids out.  I guess my question is, can you specify what nationality is placed with you?  Do you know what I mean?"

Well, at this, a light went on.  It became very clear what the problem was.  I responded, "I am afraid I know exactly what you mean, Brother. You are referring to race, not nationality. Yes, I figure we could, but not with a clear conscience."  To this he responded that it would probably be in the best interest of us and the church that we not do foster care.

I was shocked.  I was not raised around prejudice and had never witnessed it in this manner first hand.  This deacon would later explain to me that he normally explained the situation to potential pastors.  For whatever reason he had not when he called me.  The fact is, had he, I would not have even considered that pastorate.  It seems apparent God wanted me in that small town.

Before I proceed I might point out that at this point I felt this chairman of the deacon board was my greatest enemy, that he was an agent of the devil himself. Over the next couple years I would eventually discover though that he was my greatest ally, a friend willing to give up all for the sake of honor and what he knew to be right.  He informed he was simply trying to protect me at this juncture.

Before I left that meeting I assured the board I no longer had any intention of doing foster care as long as I remained there.  I would not drag an innocent black child into that kind of prejudice.  I told them that they could rest assured that I would not bring the neighboring blacks into the church as well for the same reason.  I then looked at all of them intently in the eyes and said, "I am not sure what my next move will be, whether I stay or go.  I do know this though, when I stand before God at judgement, I will stand before Him with a clear conscience concerning this issue.  I am not sure where you will stand."

In hindsight, to be quite honest, I am not sure where each of those six men stood.  A couple of them proved to be loyal friends. A couple proved to be downright two faced hypocrites.  

The next two years were very difficult for our family.  We would field emotional and spiritual attacks on numerous occasions for various reasons.  I preached on compassion and against prejudice many times seemingly to no avail.  Their defense and attack were mostly covert rather than overt.  Very little was spoken directly about the actual issue at hand.

Well, I was scolded on occasion for mixing with the neighboring blacks and on one occasion one of the deacons made some comments about the perception of my blonde daughter playing with the neighborhood black boys in our back yard.   That discussion just about led to blows.

This went on for two years.  I was falsely accused of various acts on numerous occasions.  They even staged an inspection of our house while we were on vacation.  We were constantly on the alert, fearing their next move or attack.

After about two years though we came to an em passé.  The attendance had dropped and key members were withholding their tithes and offerings.  I started driving a bus to help offset a pay cut.  I was determined not to leave until God made His intentions clear though.  His intentions became clear when the church went back on some promises they had made to me concerning my kids when we came.  

I'm not going to use up the space to explain the issue here.  It was very important to my kids and our future at the church.  I remember when the vote was tallied the chairman of the deacon board turned to me, his face was as white as a sheet, and he said ashamedly, "Brother John, I don't know what else to say to you except, we lied to you and your family."  I responded, "I am confident everybody present knows what that means.  I have no choice but to resign."

We borrowed a camper trailer and moved into the back yard of one of the other deacons.  We didn't know how long it would be, but we were prepared for the long haul.  I continued driving a school bus and Kim went to work in the school cafeteria.  God provided though and we were at our next church in Guymon, OK within six weeks.

You know, in so many ways I could look at those three years of my life as a waste and my ministry there a failure.  Much good did come out of it though.  For one, I learned no matter how bleak things appear, God is in control.  We faced some hard times there, but God always pulled us through.  Also, no matter how much you feel a failure, God brings some good out of all our good intentions.  

Several of the young from that church have moved on to other places and ministries.  At least two of the kids are now in full time ministry. No matter how much you feel you are speaking to deaf ears, some are probably listening.  Many did change their attitudes toward blacks then and as the years followed.  Another church in the community in which I had close ties to has now opened its doors to black families.  

My kids went through a tough time themselves, but were exposed to something they otherwise would never have known.  They are both stronger as a result.  They have also developed a love for their fellow man they might otherwise never known.

God has implanted in me a great hatred of prejudice and racism.  He has given me a love for those different from me and a compassion toward those less fortunate.  Much of this drive was planted during and nurtured through this experience.

Im not sure what you will take from this story.  I will tell you this, this wasn't that long ago and not too awfully far from where I live today.  Prejudice and racism is still alive and well today.  Blacks and other minorities are still being oppressed.  God Himself is no respecter of persons.  He despises prejudices and expects the church to do the same.

The Downside of Republicanism

We often refer to the U.S. as possessing a democratic form of government.  A better descriptor of our government might be republican.  By republican I mean that we elect the officials who rule over us and in the end they answer to us, not us to them.  

This form of government has served us well for the last two and a half centuries.  We have had our struggles, but we have survived.  We have survived partly due to the resiliency of the republican way.  No one man or even group of men rules over us.  We are ruled by a conglomeration of rulers in various positions with various responsibilities elected by various people with varying motivations and ideologies.  Yes, we are often plagued by corruption, but that corruption is often countered by conflicting corruption or hopefully genuine character in leadership that balances it.

One of the evils that republicanism fosters though is a competitiveness of ideologies.  Those running for office often campaign not so much on what they bring to the table but instead against what their opponents bring.  They often abandon the issues altogether and begin conjuring up attacks on one another's character and personal life.  We call this "mud slinging" and rightfully so.  What is supposed to be a campaign often has more resemblance to a free for all mud wrestling match.

As our candidates take potshots at each other, we the public tend to chose sides and rally behind the candidate or party that best represents our ideology.  Sadly, we often join in the mud slinging and outright slander as well.  We abandon the issues and are lured into a battle of accusations and character assassinations. 

As if this isn't bad enough this attack on the candidates continues as one eventually wins the election and takes office.  Unless our chosen candidate takes office, we determined to oppose and criticize the incumbent upon every opportunity. We disrespect them, slander them, and oppose them in every issue.  This is not only counterproductive, it goes against scriptural admonition.

We should support those placed in authority over us, even if we disagree with them.  I applaud republicanism and honestly believe it to be the best form of government available.  I oppose though the disrespect and slander it so often fosters.

Let us support our leaders.  We may not agree with their policies nor their ideology, but let us support the ideology that placed them in office.  After all, the scriptures teach us we only think they are there because of our vote. In reality they are there because God placed them there.  He has ordained those who rule over us and anointed them as our leaders.  We may oppose their ideology and policies, but let us respect and support their leadership.  Let us "not raise our hand against the anointed."

"8Abishai said to David, “Today God has delivered your enemy into your hands. Now let me pin him to the ground with one thrust of the spear; I won’t strike him twice.”

9But David said to Abishai, “Don’t destroy him! Who can lay a hand on the Lord’s anointed and be guiltless? 10As surely as the Lord lives,” he said, “the Lord himself will strike him, or his time will come and he will die, or he will go into battle and perish. 11But the Lord forbid that I should lay a hand on the Lord’s anointed. Now get the spear and water jug that are near his head, and let’s go.”

______1 Samuel 26:8-11