I know that cell phones are dangerous and can be distracting in the vehicle. The fact is thousands of people have lost their lives due to texting and driving. That fact I do not dispute.
That is not the whole story though. People lose their lives while eating fried chicken and driving as well.
Why, just the other day I was casually cruising down the interstate at about 127.5 miles per hour. I took my hands off the steering wheel, looked down, and picked up a piece of hot chicken and took a big bite of it.
It was some of that spicy Cajun Chicken from Popeye's by the way. That stuff is good. If I didn't like KFC better, that's where I would get all of my chicken.
Speaking of which, I really like chicken. I raised chickens when I was a kid. I did it as an agri project. I just about killed them though and failed agri.
Anyway, when I bit into that piece of chicken it burned my tongue. I let out a yelp and dropped it in my lap...then I yelped again, 'cept this time I yelped a little bit higher.
Well, I finally got my wits about me, looked up and discovered I was on another highway, in another county, in another state. I had no idea where I had been, what I had done, nor how I had gotten to where I was. Thank goodness for cruise control!
The fact is, chicken is dangerous too. I wonder how many people have lost their lives eating fried chicken. I mean, you could choke on a bone, get clogged arteries, or if you eat Church's Chicken, there is no telling what might happen! This is all aside from the dangers of eating chicken and driving.
You see, the truth of the matter is, the government doesn't want us having cell phones, because we use them to talk to each other. I mean, you see something happen while vacationing in DC, what do you do? You call your friends in Oklahoma and tell them about it.
OBAMA doesn't want us knowing the truth. He doesn't want us to call and tell others what's going on in DC. He seriously wants to take away your cell phone!
You see, the cell phone is the reason Obama can't eat at McDonald's any more. Nobody even knew OBAMA ate at McDonald's until a fellow caught it on his iPhone. I saw it in Facebook, so I know it's true.
This fellow walked in McDonald's and saw the president standing at the counter ordering. He was was all made up to look like Stephen Tyler, but this guy knew better. Everybody knows Stephen Tyler doesn't wear a bow tie!
Anyway, Obama ordered a triple cheeseburger, a small fry, and a medium Dr Pepper. He then leaned over and whispered to his security guy (who was dressed up like one of Santa's Elves), "You can order your own. Oh, and by the way, you tell Michelle, you'll be in the unemployment line with most of my other supporters."
Here's where it got weird. They didn't make the president's burger like the rest. NOO! They gave him real hamburger meat.
I know this because I saw it on facebook. They brought up a bull out of the back room and cut a piece of flesh out of him and led him back to the back room again. Then they pounded out the piece of flesh until it looked just like the other stuff they serve.
That's what they served the president. They also cut up fresh French fries instead of serving those frozen things.
Then, low and behold, in came Donald Trump dressed up like Elvis. They weren't fooled for a second though. They knew who it was.
I know this because what they fed him wasn't at all like what they fed Mr Obama. You see while Trump wasn't looking, they gathered all the dead mice out of the mouse traps and beat them into ground yucky meat type stuff. That's what they fed Donald.
That's why the president wants your cell phone. He doesn't want stories like this to leak out. The last thing he wants is for Michelle to find out he eats at McDonald's!
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