"Honey, I'm an idiot!"

I learned four magical words several years back, that if used correctly and at the right time will thwart or end just about any dispute with my wife.  I don't care what I've done or how bad I've messed up, these four words will get me out of trouble or at least deaden the sting just about every time.  These words are, "Honey, I'm an idiot!"

Think about it.  What woman can pass that up?  She asks, "Why can't you ever remember to put the toilet seat down?"  You respond, "Honey, I'm an idiot."   "Did you remember to pay the electricity bill?"  "Honey I'm an idiot."  "I can't believe you put aluminum foil in the microwave!!!"  "Honey, I'm an idiot."  They will never argue that point, I promise you..  Discussion over!

I would have benefitted from this bit of wisdom earlier on in our marriage, but it had yet to be discovered.  Like the time I walked across a busy vestibule and kissed who I thought was my
fiancee only to look across the room and see her glaring back at me.  Or when she hollered across a Señor Bob!s parking lot to toss her the keys.  For a short moment I channeled my inner Troy Aikman.  She wasn't too happy as she dislodged a key from her forehead.   Then there was the time I failed to get her a gift or even a card for valentines day.  What about when I failed to bring a map along as we moved from Memphis, TN to Fort Benning, GA and ended up getting lost 100's of miles out of the way.  I almost got in a fight in small town, Selma, AL before we finally got back on track.  The list goes on....and on....and on...

I know I make light of it, but we would all do well if we would take ourselves a little less seriously and admit our shortcomings.  Once in a home study, our oldest two were asked in separate interviews what their mom and dad argued about the most.  They both replied, "stupid things that really don't matter much."  All of us are prone to make mistakes (some of us more than others).  Why not own up to it and get on with life.

The fact of it is, I love my wife very much.  She must love me too, because, though I may not be an idiot, I have made my share of boo boos over the years and she continues to put up with me in spite of myself anyway.

So, next time your spouse screams across the house, "What in the world were you thinking?!?", remember these four magical words, "Honey, I'm an idiot!" (Or at least admit your fault)  Works just about every time...

Until next time...
the family man