The call came just eighteen months after Dawn was born. It was Kim's Aunt Shirley. She knew of a single Mom carrying a little girl that needed placement for her child quickly. The baby was due in just two weeks. The mom was already involved in custody issues over her one year old. Abortion had been advised, yet she had decided to give the child a chance at life. As the due date approached, she knew she could not give the child the care it deserved, so she began searching fur prospective families. She was determined to ave her baby outside DHS involvement..
I'm not sure how Aunt Shirley came to hear of the situation. I am guessing she had received a call asking if she was interested. Her and Uncle Loyd have adopted I believe eight children in their life time. They have been a tremendous influence on our lives. When we are particularly put out with one of the children or simply put out, our signature phrase is, "It's all Aunt Shirley's fault!"
Anyway, we had to make a decision and make it fast. Honestly, we really weren't' ready. We were broke and there would be much expense involved....court costs, lawyer fee, home study, and the medical costs for the mom and child. I was working a regular full time job now and had insurance, but the likelihood of it covering an adoption seemed rather unlikely. We had also only been married a few years. I wasn't even finished with school so we were still living in school housing. Our home was a three room drafty concrete block shell of an apartment, probably about 300-400 square feet in size.
Well, it's pretty obvious what our decision was. We went through the facade of praying over it for a few hours and seeking counsel from our friends and family, then called back a little later and told Aunt Shirley we would take her. She of course wasn't surprised. I am sure she knew we weren't ready as well, but I recall her saying somewhere in the process, "Just remember, these opportunities don't come often, maybe once in a lifetime at best."
Once again we were excited and anxious. We had just two weeks to prepare for our new baby girl. We cleared out a spot in Dawns closet and put a crib in it for the baby. The room itself was no bigger that a utility room. We were relieved clothing was not an issue. If the baby wasn't too big, she could wear hand me downs from Dawn. We weren't rich but we had it all planned out. We even had her name picked out....Emily Renee.
The next couple weeks weren't without obstacles either. We had the financial aspect to concern ourselves with. All together we were looking at about $10000 for medical and legal fees. I wasn't making much more money than I did that first year either. This was also an extremely high risk adoption. The mother did have second thoughts even up until a few weeks after the baby was born. We were ignorant to the risks though, excited about our baby, and looking forward to bringing her home. As it turned out, the costs were not near the obstacle we feared. My lawyer cousin represented us, we were not required to have a home study (I know, strange), and my insurance covered the bio mom's expenses as well as the baby. Our judge was very adoption friendly as well. God was most definitely in control.
Those two weeks seemed like an eternity. But the day finally came. It was 6:14 in the morning, December 20, 1987. The phone awakened us. We raced into the living room and Kim answered and of course it was Aunt Shirley. Watching Kim's.face during the call, she became extremely excited, then shocked. I had no idea what was going on, then she began to laugh. She looked at me and said, "John, I think we are going to have to come up with a different name..!" I was shocked now. First thing that came to my mind was, we don't have room for one child, let alone two. Then she added, "Unless your comfortable naming a boy Emily!?"
I'm not sure how Aunt Shirley came to hear of the situation. I am guessing she had received a call asking if she was interested. Her and Uncle Loyd have adopted I believe eight children in their life time. They have been a tremendous influence on our lives. When we are particularly put out with one of the children or simply put out, our signature phrase is, "It's all Aunt Shirley's fault!"
Anyway, we had to make a decision and make it fast. Honestly, we really weren't' ready. We were broke and there would be much expense involved....court costs, lawyer fee, home study, and the medical costs for the mom and child. I was working a regular full time job now and had insurance, but the likelihood of it covering an adoption seemed rather unlikely. We had also only been married a few years. I wasn't even finished with school so we were still living in school housing. Our home was a three room drafty concrete block shell of an apartment, probably about 300-400 square feet in size.
Well, it's pretty obvious what our decision was. We went through the facade of praying over it for a few hours and seeking counsel from our friends and family, then called back a little later and told Aunt Shirley we would take her. She of course wasn't surprised. I am sure she knew we weren't ready as well, but I recall her saying somewhere in the process, "Just remember, these opportunities don't come often, maybe once in a lifetime at best."
Once again we were excited and anxious. We had just two weeks to prepare for our new baby girl. We cleared out a spot in Dawns closet and put a crib in it for the baby. The room itself was no bigger that a utility room. We were relieved clothing was not an issue. If the baby wasn't too big, she could wear hand me downs from Dawn. We weren't rich but we had it all planned out. We even had her name picked out....Emily Renee.
The next couple weeks weren't without obstacles either. We had the financial aspect to concern ourselves with. All together we were looking at about $10000 for medical and legal fees. I wasn't making much more money than I did that first year either. This was also an extremely high risk adoption. The mother did have second thoughts even up until a few weeks after the baby was born. We were ignorant to the risks though, excited about our baby, and looking forward to bringing her home. As it turned out, the costs were not near the obstacle we feared. My lawyer cousin represented us, we were not required to have a home study (I know, strange), and my insurance covered the bio mom's expenses as well as the baby. Our judge was very adoption friendly as well. God was most definitely in control.
Those two weeks seemed like an eternity. But the day finally came. It was 6:14 in the morning, December 20, 1987. The phone awakened us. We raced into the living room and Kim answered and of course it was Aunt Shirley. Watching Kim's.face during the call, she became extremely excited, then shocked. I had no idea what was going on, then she began to laugh. She looked at me and said, "John, I think we are going to have to come up with a different name..!" I was shocked now. First thing that came to my mind was, we don't have room for one child, let alone two. Then she added, "Unless your comfortable naming a boy Emily!?"
I was ecstatic! I mean I would have been ok with another girl, but hey, we already had one of those! I let out a yelp that even the neighbors two blocks over could here. Actually I'm not too sure which I was more excited about, having a boy, or the clarification it wasn't twins. We made him a junior and call him by his middle name, Michael.
Well, we got dressed immediately and headed off on the three hour trip to the hospital he was born in (Washington Regional, Fayetteville, AR). We rushed in to see him. We went immediately to view him in the nursery. He was a beautiful big round chubby kid with a head full of coal black hair. We then went to the nurses station and asked to see him. For whatever reason that didn't fly. Even though the adoption had been finalized (sort of) and and our name was on the crib, they said we had no legal right to see the child. I might point out they ended up having the sheriff talk to us about it.
We didn't get to hold him that day, but we did get to see him. We went back two days later and picked him up. He was ours! There were some legalities we had to take care of. Things even got scary for a short bit as the mom vacillated. All in all, things went pretty well though, considering we had no idea what we were doing, our lawyer had never handled an adoption before, and it was such a high risk adoption.
There is so much more to share about Michael. I am sure you will read future blogs about him. He was definitely a difficult child. He was extremely strong willed, independent, and rebellious. He always had an air about him though. He was adored by just about everybody he came in contact with and pretty much still is. He led us to multiple trips to ER, the principals office, and even the police station. Within one month during his second year at Bible College he was voted student body president and then kicked off campus for rule violations.
That was Michael though....and he has turned out ok I promise. He did complete his bible college education. He has answered the call to the ministry and is currently serving as an area manager for Young Life in the Dallas area. He is happily married and they are hoping to have a houseful of kids soon. He has spent much time on the mission field, leading other groups as well as serving on his own. It was through one of his trips to Africa we were connected with Emma, who would become our fifth adoption (another story).
It is amazing how God works these things out. We could very well have said no to that phone call. We didn't have money, time, or maturity. We could have given up very early, but we didn't. People often tell us what a blessing we are to these children. I promise you, Michael, as well as his sibblings, has been and continues to be a blessing to us and those around them...
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